It’s only a tiny crumb from the huge bread of my dream…

To visit churches, to travel, to pray and to learn the meaning of life…

I was almost finished with setting up my life, when everyone flips it entirely. If it’s not someone, then it’s something. It’s not news that I keep getting sick when everything is well, the big picture broken into thousand small pictures.

Luckily, when all else fails to pull me up from my series of depression and anxiety-filled panic attacks, travelling reassuringly helps me. I do have to leave the main place of chaos, the less the merrier…

In this case, it was a trip to kerala with my family and best friend, and we got to visit the church at Edapally during the feast. My friend and I shared quick looks as we saw the magnanimous celebration, what they call the best feast of St.George. This was definitely going to be the lead story of the year for us.

Even though I have seen the place before, the memory seemed like it could not be traced back. I had watched the hair-rising procession, and the pious believers. I had ‘accidentally’ seen the feast happening, and mentioning it ‘unconsciously’ to others.

There, smash, I got what I wanted. Am I evil or what?

I breathed marginally easier after entering the holy land. I repeated to God, ‘That so far, I wish I keep coming to You always like this.’

This helps me in keeping my identity in lead. Away from the group and into my secluded forest.

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